Over the past couple days, I haven’t slept well and have had some anxiety. I thought this was odd for me because surgery hasn’t ever really scared me. As I thought about it more, it was Paul. It was me thinking that the last time I did this was the last time I saw Paul. It was the last night  saw his sweet face. The last hug. The last kiss. The last good night.

Yesterday, we got up bright and early to head to the surgery center. The staff was so very friendly and they were so pleasant. The anesthesiologist was extremely personable and he was all about my comfort! It was very efficient. They even used lidocaine to numb the area the nurse chose for my iv. What a wonderful practice. Then my plastic surgeon came in and spoke with me a bit, then got out his maker and drew all over my arms and breasts. I looked like something out of the show Nip/Tuck. Then he gave me the pen. I thought that was funny. They rolled me back to the OR. Everyone was super nice and chatty and I wasn’t nervous at all. Then came the versed and a couple breaths later…I was in PACU. I was very impressed with my PACU nurse. I was the last patient. It looked like a ghost town in there but she was vigilant in ensuring my comfort and when she thought she saw a hematoma, she called another nurse over and then my doctor came back to assess personally. No hematoma and now I was ready to go.

I was out of it for the rest of the evening/night. Lisa was amazing. She took great care of me and replaced all my jewelry. I didn’t sleep to well since I’m a side/belly sleeper and without the use of your arms, it’s quite difficulty to reposition. But I got a couple hours. Lisa doted on me, helped me position, kept me medicated and hydrated.

Today, I mainly stayed on the couch with my arms propped. There is a lot of pressure just as the dr had told me. The only real pain-pain is at my sternum. To lift the breasts, he sutures the breast tissue to the rib cage. Ouch! My boobs appear to be smaller than the C that I’d hope they’d be but that’s ok. Even is I end up with a B, I’ll be okay with that.

My arms are banded from pit to 3/4 down my arm. They feel like I’ve hit gym way too hard. Only sparks of pain when I hit something. You never realize how much you use your arms, until you can’t use you them!

I haven’t gotten dressed today. I changed my panties and am wearing Paul’s old undershirt which is like dress on me. It is way comfy and reminds me of him. I’m always sad he isn’t here, but in some way I’m sad even more because now I feel like I totally look like a different person. I remember going over my bucket list with him once. One thing listed is breast augmentation (lift and reduction). He always laughed it off. He always told me how perfect I am just the way I am.